After years of twiddling with my eyebrows,whining about my weight, and lathering make-up on my enormous eyes with my pale skin as my palette, I've learned to enjoy my features. Of course, I do not know what tomorrow will bring of this circumstance, because my self confidence comes and goes like a bad pair of lace underwear. I've stopped listening to boys who call me pretty or beautiful. I've kind of gotten into that don't care mantra about compliments in particular. I've realized that I'm a certain type of beauty. I do not particularly enjoy using the term beauty- because when I think of it, I imagine beautiful blond bombshells with bone hips, carving out their posture. I honestly never know what to describe myself as...
I like being by myself. I only have myself to make stupid gestures or remarks. I don't have to care what the opposite sex thinks of me. I like being my own individual floating in this world. I've learned alot about myself. Like how much I love playing SIMS or how my writing really reflects who I am as a human being. Diet coke rules my body over water, and I feel perfectly confident in that opinion. I like helping others, and I read the news religiously. I check my e-mail almost every 45 minutes and I feel no shame. I still think of ex boyfriends way more than ever, no matter if they were 5 months ago or 3 years my senior. I always have a place in my heart for the people that have really captivated me, no matter how much I try to conceal it by being a badass listening to H.I.M. and painting my nails black. I realized that I feel confident in the color black because that's what my heart feels. I'm like a gigantic black hole, an indestructible power that soaks up light. I have no problem with that.
This blog is like my therapy. If I didn't have it I think I would've gone insane way long before. Is it true that only yourself can make you happy? I think so...
life is always unfolding perfectly - GD
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