"And thin and feeble and worn out; her hair
Is ragged; bleared her deep-set eyes; her face
Dry-lipped and pale; her jowls besmeared with dirt;
Her entrails one can see through her thin skin;
Marrowless, her bones stick from her flanks;
She has no belly but the cavity
Where it should be- it is a pit so deep
Her very breasts seem pendent from her spine.
Her knees lack roundness, and her hollow toes
And heels as lean are. angular and thin,
As if there were no flesh upon her bones,
So tightly are they pinched in meagerness."

I sat on the highest hill of the city, spread my arms like a mad wildfire, and screamed. My scream went for miles, slithering in the ears of the entire town and the bunnies that hide under the shed. I stopped, and the world echoed back my scream fiercely, then faintly. I could still hear my scream twirling inside of the trees while I slowly laid down. The wind whisked my hair like eggs inside of a boiling pan. I felt like nature's food, a warm chunk of girl waiting to be eaten away.
My fingers silently tapped around the dirt in ovals, while my brain drifted into memories of you. Your dimpled smile, your butter teeth.
I always wondered if the earth has suffered from a tragic ending like this. Whether the core was ready to explode, ooz through the cracks of the mountains and splurg with rage on all the remaining humans and animals. I guess that's what a volcano is, the thundering depression of the earth. The earth has never driven itself into a suicide, like I have once felt like doing.

It seems that life has once again crashed down upon me. I feel miserable. Sick. Delusional. Where has all of my motivation gone? Down with the murky toilet water with the rest of the cigarette butts. No, I don't smoke. I like to think I am sophisticated enough to do so though. Blowing in ringlets. Blowing in my lover's face while spicy aroma of the nicotine rapes his nostrils. I'm sick of you adoring me- like a mad puppy in need of a chew toy. I'd rather wrap my tongue around a fortune cookie and see where the cards land me. In hell. In heaven. It's all the same once your lover has dissolved you from their heart. Now your just a cloud. Sheepishly sleeping away your life. You little pale thing, you.

1. Continue my EIC job. :3


2. Buy frilly underwear. the really beautiful kind that you can never wear with jeans but look fabulous nonetheless with just them on.

3. 3rd Base it with Someone I love. (so wrong on so many levels XD hey shuddup I'm almost 18 XD )

4. Before I turn 18 write out a whole album with songs I have written and slightly composed.

5. Go to a kick ass concert. Not spice girls. XD

6. Show up my AP English teacher.

7. Fall asleep under the stars.

8. Have a boy buy me perfume Black Orchid


9. Wear one of the most beautiful dresses

10. Start a comic book

The scruff of your eyes is what I miss the most. The way my hands would find a pathway to your thighs through your pocket made your body luscious. I wanted to taste it under the sweet summer sun while the clouds melted away on our bodies.
I miss you.